Secrets

I came across an interesting blog site the other day in my "blogging" travels. Apparently, this little "gem" of a blog site had somehow stayed quietly beneath my radar, ergo had remained completely undiscovered until recently.

The name of the blog is called PostSecret. I am not going to get into the details of the blog itself and will allow you the freedom to discover the many nuances and reasons behind the success of this award winning and often eye-opening Blog.

The subject of this particular diatribe scratches the surface of the PostSecret blog - secrets. C'mon, you know you've got a few secrets slinking, lurking and mulling around back there somewhere in the dark, moist, dank recesses of your memories! You'll find them usually locked solid and shut tight beneath some very well guarded and fortified doors. I am not in the habit of looking for secrets. I am far too trusting I guess. The eternal optimist within me would like to come to rely upon everything that is right and good about a person or acquaintance and not have to delve stealthfully into the art of deception and the realm of misconception in order to unearth a hidden or undisclosed fact of the person or persons in my midst.

The thing about secrets is that they are very much akin to lies. How is this so? A logical argument would state that a kept secret, denied repetitively is the deliberate proliferation of an act that further leads the person or party into a downward spiral of pain, contempt and further secrets. The act of keeping a secret works itself against the party - increasing and producing more and more secrets, lies and alibis. These additional burdens begin to tax the system and begin to produce toxins like a virus or bacteria, thus spreading infection and making the host feel sick or unwell. It is a vicious circle where lies beget more lies, and eventually the host becomes withdrawn, emotionally detached or in worse cases becomes lost altogether.

There is a sad statistical fact that some people never survive the burden of a secret that was allowed to hide, fester, infect and eventually disease the host to a point where death was a welcome alternative. Truth is a remedy, yes. But it seems that the truth itself can cause just as much pain and sometimes even more when revealed to an unsuspecting party. (Hello?!?!? Anyone out there seen seen that little unknown film called "Brokeback Mountian?")

Everything could seem to be going along so well and then "boom" the world as you know it goes to "hell-in-a-handbasket" in one swift verbal flow of secret information! It could happen to you - anytime and anywhere - for instance...

Maybe it was a spouse or loved one who admitted that he was cheating on you with your best friend...

Perhaps it was a friend who admitted to stealing a piece of jewelry or money from you car ashtray to pay for drugs...

It even could have been the neighbor next door who admitted that they were the person molesting your child...

The world is not a very nice place sometimes. And some problems are difficult to deal with at the moment so they are whisked away to another place in an attempt to forget about them altogether. The mind and spirit of the average human is resilient, but there is no armor coating around it that will provide any protection from those who willfully or even unwillingly hurt us. Damage is damage is damage - once the spirit has been dinged, scratched or dented, there is little you can do to repair it. The body learns to cope, but the mind never forgets...

Secrets, it can be concluded, are a poison to all of us who function in normal society. From the "closet alcoholic" to the anonymous child molester, the secrets kept that we believe could never ever hurt anyone are doing just that. Secrets are the acids that break down the lines of communication and the mortar and brick that goes into making further barriers. They have the power to destroy but also bring a power to build - both in the positive and negative sense.

We have ALL had to live with some sort of secret in our past and there are none that walk this planet that have not been affected or will be affected by a secret. Secrets are sometimes silly and lighthearted; some secrets brew and steep and seem to enrich themselves over time until they can be held no longer; some secrets reveal a longing or hidden side of us that has stayed silent for a long time; some secrets are startling or surprising; some other secrets are dark, foreboding and unrelenting.

On a lighter note, there is such an animal that is known as a "good secret" and its called a "welcome surprise" They take the form of anonymous acts of kindness, spontaneous bursts of goodwill and torrents of outward affection. Frankly, it's the shocking and silly secrets that seem to tickle me the right way. The world is such a rotten place sometimes that a little levity can ease the burden of having to deal with some very real and often heavy atrocities.

So, what is my secret?

Well, I'll tell you - I don't like wearing underwear - and often, I don't!

(My apologies to my mother, Hanes, Fruit of the Loom, Jockey and the casual reader who happened upon this blog and somehow just got a mental picture of this deed!)

(Originally published 31 March 2006 on the blog "The Curbside Philosopher")