A Memorial Day Message

I am a bit tardy with my Memorial Day message, and for this I apologize. But today, a day when Toby Keith and the USO show will be here in town for us to enjoy, I thought this was as good a time as any to say what I've been itching to say. So, for lack of a better introduction, here it goes...

After September 11, 2001 being in the military kind of took on a whole new meaning. It's really rather difficult to describe but in a nutshell, take the world that you know and everything that is good and happy within it and turn it upside down and right-side up several times. When your head, and the heads of those you love stop spinning and your eyes regain their focus, you will have the distinct pleasure of knowing just how it feels to have been a soldier, sailor, marine, airman or coast guard member on that fate-filled day.

I do not need to re-live the details of or bring back the feelings associated with that turbulent and history changing event because they are still there - sometimes painfully so. Because for a brief time, our nation was on its knees and the world was just as shocked and outraged as we were. Oh, there were few who relished in their victory and thought that this blow would slowly start to bring about the demise of our nation and help to give rise to the belief that the United States; the "Great Satan" was to be eradicated and defeated in the name of Jihad.

The events that unfolded and developed in my immediate world in the wake of the tragedy seems more like a muddled ballet of all things good and all things bad coming together and clashing on a stage for everyone to see. If you've happened to have seen any old movies where they pass time with the aid of a montage and the paper days fall and drift from a wall calendar, that is pretty much how my day-to-day life was on Fort Sill from 2001 to 2003. Our little base in the "middle-of-no-where Oklahoma" began to swell with motion. Training and exercises took on an entirely different meaning because there was a renewed focus and a new enemy to battle.

In the midst of this preparation came a whirlwind of emotions that every military man and woman all had to face. There were many battles being fought in my immediate world. As I watched the men and women on post begin to embrace their mission with renewed vigor and determination I was forced to pick up my own sword and battle a few personal battles of my own. During a 36 day period from January 1st to February 5th 2003 the following events occurred:

I lost my stepmother to Diabetes...

I lost my recently approved request and orders to transfer to the MEPS Center in Los Angeles, California...

I found out that the unit was being mobilized and was headed to Iraq...

I eventually lost the battle and gave into granting my now ex-wife a divorce...

Between 2003 and 2005 I went to Iraq, lost 7 friends and fellow brothers-in-arms, became a father again got engaged, married a Lioness and began to plan out the rest of our life together.

I am going to stop ranting on about my life and get right down to the message. I am trying to tell you that despite all the personal turmoil, tragedy, rises and falls, mistakes and victories, I have continued to make every attempt to move forward and NOT look back at the many things that would have or could have been. Things are what they are - and they will continue to be what they are as long as the pathway to their existence continues to be paved with my intentions whether they are received positively or negatively in my immediate world.

Take all of this and compare it to our current state of affairs within our own borders. There is chaos, disarray, frayed nerves, general unrest and lots and lots of uncertainty. There are dissenters and nay-sayers who spout their rhetoric and make wild accusations that our aim was untrue or our motives purely selfish during this ongoing War on Terrorism. These people would have us slinking and living in fear like a beaten dog rather than have us fight for the very principles and beliefs that made this country what it is today.

In the midst of all these battles we continue to move onward. When we get knocked down we get right back up and continue on our way. That is the resilience and determination that has helped to make these United States the great beacon of freedom and democracy for all of the free-world to recognize and attempt to emulate. Since when do any terrorists embrace peace?

I made my choices for better and for worse and have come to embrace a belief that the battles to which I have given in to and continue to fight on a daily basis will someday effect my children, my grandchildren and even my great-grandchildren. I believe our country is worth something more than just a flag or a idea. I believe that America means something to the world and that we are doing the right thing by trying to defeat terrorism so that the world can eventually come to embrace peace and learn to live with our differences rather than rebel or create chaos because of our inability to see eye to eye.

I am not one to seek vengeance. I am not a man to wish ill will upon anyone. I am not a saint in any sense of the word, but I do not wish harm upon my enemies. I am an optimist. The Lioness is often caught wondering where I find the ability as a military man to accept such things as "truths" to cling upon, and I simply know that things are what they are and events in motion can only be changed by those who put them into motion in the first place. I am not a killer. I am not a warrior in search of blood lust or vengeance. I am first and foremost a protector. I am a patient thinker. Should I or anyone else I love feel threatened or think that their lives are in danger, I will do my best to make sure that those plans and outcomes to destroy human life fail. It may seem hypocritical of me, but I have a right to defend my life and the lives of those I love just as much as anyone else. I am not a martyr nor am I a sheep being led to market and slaughter. I am doing my job as I swore to do so - now, 3 times over to "...protect and defend the constitution of the United States of America against all enemies both foreign and domestic."

If it is death that the enemy does seek, I am sure that eventually they will find it...

It's funny, but after preparing for war, going to war, living away from home for a many months at a time and thousands of miles from loved ones with only your friends to the left and to the right of you for support, you gain a bit of wisdom that most people never have the honor of recognizing. You begin to perceive things in a whole new light. The world becomes a much smaller place. The ordinary drive to the market becomes something extraordinary. Play time with the children becomes a cherished event and heart-to-heart talks become something to build a lifetime upon! Patience is recognized. Dreams are fortified and you learn the truth behind the saying, "You don't know what you've got until you haven't got it any longer."

I am not perfect nor do I claim to be. I have had to learn some very difficult and yet very valuable lessons about life, love and myself. In the short span of 3 years, I have managed to gain valuable insight into the inner weavings of the universe and re-discovered a voice within me that had laid dormant for sometime. I discovered even when there seems to be imbalance there is balance to be found. I learned that saying "never again" is foolish and ignorant in the realms of relationship and love and I also learned that it is possible to find love; find respect and find comfort and compassion within the embrace of another even when you do not feel yourself worthy of such wondrous gifts!

Most importantly, I learned that despite all things (both the good and the evil) that life goes on and that it is my choice (and my choice alone) to do everything good and righteous with the gift of life I have been given. I know the difference between right and wrong and try to do what is right most every time. I live by the rule and law of this land and try to lead by example in order to make sure that those who follow in my steps will learn from my example and carry on the traditions, traits and wisdom that were passed down to me by my parents and grandparents in hope that every drop of blood, sweat and tears filling every one of my movements and moments from birth to eventual death was not without cause nor reason.

I have chosen to make a mark in this life as a soldier, a sailor, a nurse, a husband, a father, a son a brother and a friend. Mine is not a glamorous or Hollywood lifestyle. By all accounts I am perfectly anonymous except to those whose lives I touch on a daily basis. This is where I make my impact known the most. This is where I am something and everything to the lives within my immediate world. I hope that someday my contribution to life and the lives of those I have touched will be remebered. In this way, my deeds shall be recognized and then I will live forever; thus insuring that I shall never be forgotten...

SSG Joe N. Wilson

SSG Paul Velasquez

SGT Joel Perez

SGT Keelan Moss

SGT Ross Pennanen

SPC Rafael Navea

SPC Steven Conover


I have not forgotten and choose to remember...always!